I Guess I Just Feel Like

I love John Mayer - I’m not ashamed to admit that. When I heard he had a new album coming I totally pre-ordered on iTunes and I have not been disappointed! This is my favorite song by far - mostly because I use the phrase “I guess I just feel like….” so often when describing my own problems / feelings.

I guess I just feel like

I guess I just feel like

Nobody's honest

Nobody's true

Everyone's lying

To make it on through

I guess I just feel like

I'm the same way too

I guess I just feel like

Good things are gone

And the weight of my worries

Is too much to take on

When I was in college I took this "Beats Literature" course and the professor had us write 10 pages of just pure stream of consciousness by hand (no typed entries allowed) and then submit it - only as a twist after turning it in he had us grade each others. At age 19 I took the assignment seriously and wrote from my heart for 10 pages. Fears. Dreams. Song lyrics - so many song lyrics. The kid I got paired with? He wrote "I hate this assignment" over and over for 10 pages. No lie. When grading his I wrote that I thought he wasted more energy fighting the assignment because he was scared to open himself up to writing creatively. When I received my entry back he wrote that I had great taste in music but might be psychotic if I had that much time to think. Pretty haughty comment from a guy who wrote the same phrase approximately a thousand times! I haven’t shared a random stream of consciousness post in ages so I thought I might be overdue. Inspired by said song, here we go!

I guess I just feel like time is moving both way too fast and way too slow.

I guess I just feel like I wish I could both rewind and fast forward, pick and choose the memories to live in.

I guess I just feel like I can’t get out of my own way sometimes.

I guess I just feel like my heart will never be the same after losing my mom.

I guess I just feel like this ache may never go away.

I guess I just feel like I’m not sure how to define myself these days.

I guess I just feel like I don’t know if I’m making the right choices sometimes.

I guess I just feel like everything normally happens for a reason, but I can’t see that rationale.

I guess I just feel like I can’t go back to who I was pre-pandemic.

I guess I just feel like maybe I should stop trying?

I guess I just feel like by accepting this ‘new world’ I have to accept that certain things can never be.

I guess I just feel like I'm more alone then ever before and somehow more myself?

I guess I just feel like not everyone deserves access to me. Or you. Or anyone for that matter.

I guess I just feel like some things don’t need to be shared.

I guess I just feel like it’s harder to put on a facade these days.

I guess I just feel like I prefer the unfiltered version anyways.

I guess I just feel like “society” had this expectation of me that I stopped living up to.

I guess I just feel like I shouldn’t care anyways….but I kinda do.

I guess I just feel like nothing has changed and yet everything is different.

I guess I just feel like it’s nice to know I’m not alone.