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Merry Christmas Eve!

I couldn't pick just one* song for this entry. My favorite Christmas song is a three-way toss - up between “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”by Brenda Lee, "Holly Jolly Christmas" (only the Burl Ives version ☃️) or "Jingle Bell Rock" by Bobby Helms (because it reminds me of being little and ringing the bells in chorus 😂).

*FWIW Mom's favorite was "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" and anything by Nat King Cole.

A year ago we said goodbye to my mom on her favorite holiday and leaving the hospital I didn't think I would ever be whole again. She was my best friend and my favorite person - the thought of life without her was unfathomable. How could I survive? How would my brother and dad ever be okay?

In looking back it's been a wild year and I really do feel like a different person coming into 2022. More on that next week in a yearly recap post.

I've seen the depths of grief and realized that grief is really just love. From one of the best websites I've found - “Grief is love realizing, if it wants to thrive, it has to be creative and find new ways to connect and be fulfilled. ... Grief is love's unwillingness to give up. It's stretching bonds and redefining limits in order to create a space where you can love someone in their eternal absence”. What's Your Grief

Hitting the first series of milestones without mom has been hard (as expected) and I worried that in the weeks and months leading up to Christmas Eve that I would feel much differently on the day of - I thought I would be sobbing or have the stuck grief feeling in my chest all day. I'm so pleased to say I was wrong - I actually feel incredibly excited for the day and at peace knowing mom loved us so much and is still with us every day. ❤️

I'm making a feast to honor her that I've dubbed The Feast of Suze - lasagna, meatballs, Italian sausage, chicken cutlets, a little winter salad served with an amazing charcuterie board from a local business, Alexandra Louise (love the Louise confection we share!) and then a chocolate and mint ice cream cake (mom's favorite!) from Meletharbs in Wakefield.

We're watching her favorite Christmas cartoons -

  • “The Grinch That Stole Christmas” (the original from the 60s)

  • “Twas the Night Before Christmas” (with the cute mouse family)

  • “Polar Express” (hot, hot, hot chocolate!)

  • “A Charlie Brown Christmas”


  • “Christmas Eve on Sesame Street”!

And we're telling all of her best stories and sharing our favorite mom memories! Here's a collage of my beautiful mom from Christmases past. Merry Christmas, friends!! ❤️ 🎄

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